Why Coffee and Big Brothers Do Not Mix Very Well
by Chibi Rose Angel
Summary: "Today was supposed to be an ordinary and completely boring day, unfortunately, that all went out the window when Jason decided to pay an unannounced visit to Wayne Manor."
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Notes**_ : I am so very rusty at this you guys! For starters, I'm not a stranger to the Batman fandom. I've been a lurker for years reading all of your wonderful stories. So I know I probably made some errors but I would love to hear your thoughts. Constructive criticisms are welcomed. Anything you think needs improvement? I'm all ears. Character thoughts will be denoted using italics and this is supposed to be a lighthearted story. That was my original intention anyway. Don't be too surprised if the story ends up having a mind of its own. For those of you who wanted this story published, you know you who are! Happy reading!

 ** _Disclaimer_** : I don't own Batman or anything associated with DC comics.

Dick was down in the Batcave trying miserably to crack a cold case. He'd done everything he could possibly think of to find some sort of lead but no such luck. Papers were strewn all about the workbench while he had samples being tested in the laboratory area. On the Batcomputer, he had various files pulled up cross-referencing all of the potential suspects from the case.

He was so focused on his work that he completely missed the moment Jason rode up to Wayne Manor, punched in the security code and parked his motorcycle. Unbeknownst to Dick, trouble had just arrived.

Jason waltzed through the front doors of his old home like he owned the place. He took a moment to close the door and then carelessly tossed his helmet on one of the sofas as he made his way to the kitchen. _I don't plan on being here long. Just pop in, say hi to Alfred, get some free food and maybe bug the demon brat and replacement._

Right as Jason was on his way to the kitchen, he spied Damien and Tim both coming down the stairs. Damian was trying his hardest not to shove Tim down the stairs, however, Tim looked dead on his feet. His hair was messy, huge bags were underneath his eyes and every now and then he'd yawn. Jason ducked into another room and decided to let his pseudo siblings enter the kitchen first.

 _I could work with this. Now where in the hell is Dick? I can't pull this off without him being here._

Jason waited a few more moments before finally venturing out. He couldn't hear anything from the kitchen so he took that as a sign that both of his younger siblings hadn't killed each other yet. He didn't even bother announcing his presence as he walked into the kitchen.

Damian was sitting at the kitchen island with an irritated look on his face. Tim, on the other hand, was staring at the empty automatic coffee maker as if his life depended on it. Not one to miss the perfect opening, Jason quietly crept up behind Damian and placed one hand on his shoulder. "So, demon brat. You want to try being an adult?"

Damian scoffed without even bothering to look at Jason. "Todd, I am an adult! It's the rest of you who can't accept my superb intellect and superior lineage."

All of a sudden, Jason got a wicked gleam in his eyes as Dick slowly shuffled into the kitchen.

One look at Dick and he's suddenly reminded that he's been stuck working on a cold case. The slow gait, hunched shoulders and defeated aura around Dick is something he knows very well. He's almost tempted to offer his assistance but thinks better of it. _After all, it's not like he'd willingly accept my help. Stubborn ass._

Tearing his eyes away from Dick, his gaze narrows in on Tim again. Poor sweet, innocent, and naive little Tim has no idea the trouble coming for him. He's still standing in the same spot, however, now he's glaring at the coffee maker.

 _This is too good to pass up!_

"Alright, demon brat. Twenty bucks says you can't drink an entire mug of coffee before the replacement finishes his own cup."

At the mere mention of coffee, Tim is instantly awake. Dick, on the other hand, is suspicious.

"Jay, what are you doing here? And why do I get the feeling that you're up to something?"

Jason smirks at Dick. "Oh Dickiebird, it's too early for accusations. Can't a man just drop in for a visit? I mean it's not like any of you bother to come and see me."

Dick looks stricken for a moment but before he can say anything, Tim instantly appears at Jason's side holding two coffee mugs.

"Less talking. Coffee's ready." Tim proceeds to place one mug in front of Damian and then calmly walks to his own seat.

Both Jason and Dick share horrified glances. They're both wondering how in the hell did Tim manage to do that so quickly. Neither one of them has the guts to outright ask. After all, they both know from previous experience not to come between Tim and coffee.

Tim is oblivious to his brothers. All of his attention is on Damian. Right before he sits down, he smiles evilly at Damian and mouths to him, "Prepare to die."

For a moment, Damian experiences a brief flash of fear but he quickly shoves it aside as he sneers at Tim. "And just what makes you think I'm going to die from this? I'm not weak like you Drake!"

Jason's smirk has evolved into a full blown smile. _I'm totally downloading the security footage of this._

Dick can sense that control of this situation is spiraling downwards fast. "So Jay, what are the rules of this little competition?"

Jason chuckles before answering the question. "Simple. Demon brat has to finish his cup before Replacement. If he does, then I'll stop treating him like a child. As a matter of fact, I'll even let him patrol with me."

Dick raises an eyebrow and begins to tap one finger on the counter-top. "And?"

Jason stops chuckling and clears his throat. "It's that simple. Just look at Tim. He doesn't even need any incentive to do this. Do you Tim?"

Tim hasn't taken his eyes off of Damian. Instead, he grips his mug tighter.

If Tim had been in his right mind, he would have seen this trap coming from a mile away. Unfortunately, the chance to show up Damian was just too good to ignore.

Damian, on the other hand, is completely ignorant to Jason's true intentions. He's just ready for his so called siblings to start treating him with the respect he deserves.

Against his better judgment, Dick nods and Jason knows that he's won.

"Alright, on the count of three but I'm going on record right now. Bruce isn't going to like this one bit. And when he finds out about this, it'll be your fault Jay-bird."

Jason huffs indignantly, "Oh shut up! You're such a kill joy. What's the worst thing that could happen? Huh? Daddy Bats would never get mad at you. You're the favorite. If anything, he'll probably be glad that nothing happened to you."

Dick glares at him for a moment before turning away from Jason. Tim and Damian both turn to Dick in order to comfort him but think better of it. They both know that Dick would appreciate the gesture but at the same time, it'll only prove Jason right.

Jason feels guilty for a minute but not enough to apologize. _Not my fault he's so damn sensitive._

Damian rolls his eyes before snapping his fingers at Jason. "Are we going to do this or not? I have plans for the day that don't include the three of you."

Jason bites his lip for a minute and then shrugs. He'll deal with Dick later.

"Right. On three. 1. 2..." Jason pauses for a bit and tries to discreetly look at Dick again. After a few seconds, he notices something he failed to see earlier. Dick has dark lines under his eyes and his complexion looks washed out.

 _Son of a! He's hiding something. Now I need to talk to him. Damn. Why do you have to complicate everything Dick?_ That was the last thing Jason thought before he yelled, "3!"

Tim downed his coffee in two gulps. He slammed the mug on the counter-top and started laughing maniacally when he heard Damian begin to sputter and choke.

"Disgusting! This drink is horrible!" Damian started gagging and that's when Dick sprang into action. He picked Damian up and ran out of the kitchen, hoping he could make it to the closest bathroom.

Tim, however, ran off cackling. "I'm undefeated!"

Meanwhile, Jason was torn between feeling horrible and ridiculously happy.

 _On one hand, I've got potential blackmail material. But, there's still the matter with Dick._

Jason had to fight hard against the urge to face palm himself. "Why do I even care about these idiots?" He mumbled angrily as he walked out of the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's Notes_** : So a little background information on how this story came to be is in order. A few of my good friends posted a picture showing Damian and Tim drinking coffee while Dick and Jason stood in the background cheering them on. Of course Damian thought the coffee was gross while Tim basically flips out. They issued a challenge to write what happens afterwards. It's all their fault this story came to life. Remember, constructive criticisms are welcome and please let me know what I need to work on. If you didn't like the story, that's fine too. I'm rusty so I'll take whatever feedback you guys are willing to give me. For those of you who may have forgotten, character thoughts are denoted by italics. Without further ado, happy reading!

 ** _Disclaimer_** : Still don't own Batman or anything else associated with DC Comics.

Jason was steadily walking towards the front door of the Manor. His helmet, tucked underneath one arm, as he reached for the doorknob. He swung the door open and had one foot out of the door when he suddenly remembered the security footage. _That and I kind of want to see how this plays out._

He closed the door and decided to head back to the kitchen.

"Leave me Grayson! I've tainted the family name by showing such weakness." Damian muttered weakly before leaning forward again to throw up. Dick winced in sympathy before kneeling down and tracing small, slow circles on Damian's back.

He couldn't help smiling softly as he recalled better memories with Jason. _Times where he didn't hate me and could actually stand the thought of being near me._

"You think that was bad? Clearly, you have no idea how much trouble Jason and I caused Bruce before you came along."

Damian didn't even look at his brother. He merely kept his face down, hoping that he was finished being ill. Sweat had broken out over his brow and tears were threatening to fall down his face. There was a terrible after taste in his mouth and his stomach felt like tiny little blades were constantly stabbing him.

Placing one hand on his stomach, he moaned miserably, "Grayson… If I die today, tell Father to avenge me."

Dick tried not to laugh at his brother. He really did but he was being ridiculous. He laughed for a few moments before he immediately sobered up. _Dami might be sick now but once he's feeling better, there's no telling what he might do._

Visions of Damian attempting to get even floated around in his mind. None of the scenarios ended well.

"I'll make you a deal Dami. How about you take a nice, long soak and I'll go deal with our other brothers? After I'm done, I'll come up to check on you. If you're feeling better, you can come down to the cave and help me with this case. And before you even think about it, no grand schemes for revenge, divine retribution, or anything else you think is suitable for Jason and Tim."

Damian slowly turned his head towards Dick and gave him the best glare he could summon on such short notice.

Dick raised his hands slowly in a non-threatening manner. "I'm not saying they don't deserve to be punished but for once, can you just listen to me? Please Dami?"

Damian continued to glare.

Not one to be outdone, especially by his little brother, Dick gave him his best puppy dog eyes. _Please be a sucker for the look like Bruce._

Damian wanted to be mad at his brother. He really did but he couldn't hold anything against him. Not when he was looking at him like a wounded puppy. Knowing when he was beat, he looked away from Dick.

Dick ruffled his hair playfully before getting up. He reached over and flushed the toilet then he went over to the tub. He turned both faucets on and proceeded to adjust the temperature to Damian's liking. Afterwards, he walked out of the bathroom with only one goal in mind. _I have a troublemaker to find. No telling what else he might do while he's here._

* * *

Jason really wanted to be somewhere else at the moment. He had only meant to come home and screw with his siblings for a bit and then leave. Instead, he was now dealing with three annoying brothers. One brother was trying to be noble and hide the fact that he was sick. The other brother was probably so used to being ill that it didn't even faze him anymore. And the last brother? He was sick from something that shouldn't have even made him feel unwell in the first place.

"Seriously?! Who in the hell gets sick from coffee? The replacement has been drinking that shit for years without side effects. Goldie drinks it every now and then. Hell, even Alfred will drink a cup but the little demon has one cup and gets violently ill?" Jason grumbled while walking towards the fridge.

 _Might as well get something to eat and then go find one of those assholes. Check to see if they're okay and then leave. After all, I can't risk Bruce coming home and finding me here._

Jason opened the refrigerator and scanned the contents briefly before snatching the milk carton, peanut butter and jelly out of the fridge. He closed the door with his foot and then placed everything down on the counter-top. He turned around and went to the biggest cabinet in the kitchen. He pulled it open and took out the loaf of bread. With the bread in one hand, he rummaged through one of the drawers until his hand finally landed on a butter knife. He left the drawer open too and walked back to the counter-top, slamming the bread down.

He scowled at his soon to be meager meal for a few minutes. _The one time I come here for Alfred's cooking and he's not here._

His face never once lost the scowl as he began making a sandwich. "Stupid family. Always have to go and make my life difficult."

He was so busy complaining that he didn't even notice someone enter the kitchen. He had a feeling that it was Dick but that didn't mean he was going to start talking to him. After all, he was still agitated.

"So… I know you didn't come here for just a social visit. Want to explain things to me now or do I need to let Dami have a go at you? I mean it's not like he doesn't have access to all kinds of sharp, pointy and dangerous objects. You and I both know he could poison you without getting caught. Then again, I could always let Alfred know."

Jason didn't have to look to know that Dick was giving him the, 'I'm so disappointed in you but I still love you' gaze. He'd been on the receiving end of that stare for years.

"First of all, I don't owe you any explanations because you're not the boss of me. Secondly, the little snot would have to catch me. And if you breathe a word of this to Alfred, I will deny every single thing to my dying breath."

Dick let out a big sigh as he watched Jason eat. He wanted to knock that sandwich out of his hands, shake him silly and then hug him for dear life. A very small part of him, however, wanted to deck him too.

 _Stupid idiot still thinks we don't want him here. Well, too bad for you Jay-bird. We're totally having this conversation._

"Considering the fact that you deliberately came home without being asked to or without the imminent threat of dying once again, I'd say you do owe me. And if you don't tell me, I'm telling Alfred, Bruce and Connor."

Jason almost choked on the last bite of his sandwich when he heard those words. He turned around to get a good look at his brother. "Are you fucking with me? How old are you anyway? Ten?"

Dick gave him the driest look possible. "I'm dead serious. Now out with it before I snitch."

Knowing what a pain in the ass Dick could be, he decided to call his bluff.

"You do realize that the security footage is going to show you standing in the kitchen doing absolutely nothing right? So your argument about ratting me out isn't going to work in your favor. Bruce will probably wonder why you didn't do more to stop it. I mean you're the one who's always in control, can't ever let Bruce down you know? So do you really…" Jason trailed off when a fist suddenly collided with his cheek.

"I don't have time to deal with you today. I've been up for the last few days slaving over a cold case which is driving me insane, Damian has been glued to my side for the last two weeks after his misconduct in the field and Tim has done nothing to hide his jealously over that little fact. Since you're never here, you wouldn't know how hard it is to keep the family together! And stop saying all of that bullshit about me and Bruce! So this time, I'm not asking. You either spit it out now or so help me!"

Jason touched his jaw for a moment and hissed, snatching his hand away quickly. "I don't know what crawled up your ass but I don't have to take this. I told you why I came here. I wanted to visit for a bit, possibly get a good cooked meal and then I would have been out of your hair. I meant what I said. You assholes never think to invite me to anything and it's not like any of you come to visit me when we're out of costume! Alfred is the only one who bothers to check if I'm still alive and eating anyway! So what does that say for the rest of you?!"

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping he could reign in his temper. _It's not his fault. You're just mad that you haven't been able to catch a break the last couple of weeks. Don't take it out on him._

"Jason, look. You couldn't have picked a worst time to show up."

"Yeah well I see that now. I'm out of here. Have fun explaining this whole mess to Bruce and Alfred. Go ahead and rat me out. It's all you're good for anyway."

Dick was once again momentarily stunned by his brother's words. He felt like he was a teenager all over again watching Jason slip further and further away from him. No matter what he did, it would never be good enough. He just didn't know how to close the gap between them.

Swallowing hard, Dick took a few steps towards his brother. "Jason, please don't leave. I'm sorry."

He kept walking like he hadn't heard a word from his brother. When a hand hesitantly landed on his shoulder, he froze. He was torn between slugging Dick and actually wanting to hear him out. Ultimately, his anger won out in the end.

He shrugged the hand off and kept walking. "I know you guys still think I'm crazy. You think the Pits turned me rabid but that couldn't be further from the truth. If anything, the fact that Talia… Of all people… You know what? Never mind. I'm tired of trying to plead my case. You guys are the worst family to ever exist. Maybe the next time I die, I might get lucky enough to stay that way."

 _This is why I avoid the Manor at all costs. Nothing good happens when I visit._

He was almost to the front door when strong arms wrapped around him. He started struggling for all his worth. _No, no, no! I am not doing this with Dick!_

With his arms pinned, he tried stomping on Dick's feet, biting him and even head butting him but it was hopeless. Dick wouldn't let go of him. Once his energy was spent, he sagged against his brother.

"I hate you. I really do hate you." He muttered without any real bite.

Dick leaned down and buried his face in Jason's hair. "You say that but I know for a fact you could have left at any time. Yet, here you are."

Jason blew out a breath of air. "Are you going to let me go? This is kind of embarrassing."

Grinning like the cat that finally got the canary, Dick only squeezed him tighter. "I'm your older brother. I have full rights to embarrass you. And besides, how do I know you won't bolt for the door the minute I let go?"

Jason didn't give him an answer.

"I'll make you something better than a PB&J sandwich if you stay."

Hearing that statement, Jason snorted. "You can't cook to save your damn life. I'd rather starve than eat something you make."

He didn't have to see Dick to know that he was pouting.

"I'll have you know that Alfred showed me how to make pancakes and waffles. You know the basic stuff so I won't go hungry in Bludhaven. And at least I'm not as bad as Bruce. He's been effectively banned from every kitchen he has ever set foot in."

Not one to give in so easily, Jason frowned. "You'll slip something in the food. You've done it before."

Still pouting and reluctant to let go of his younger brother, Dick tried in vain to think of a quick solution.

 _I know he's mad at me and I know he wouldn't have risked coming here if he didn't want something. Did he really just come here to see us and get something to eat? Are we that terrible that he has to sneak in here just to do that?_

"Look, I know you have a habit of being all touchy feely but seriously. Let go. If Bruce, Alfred or Barbara sees this, we'll never live it down. I swear I won't go anywhere. Just let me go."

Knowing it was a bad idea to tease Jason, he decided to take his chances anyway. "What's the matter? Your manly pride has been insulted and now you have to preserve the rest of it?"

Jason lowered his head for a moment. Without warning, he brought one foot up and stomped on Dick's foot as hard as he could. Dick finally let go of him as he fell over. He brought his foot close to him, pain radiating off of him in waves.

"Serves you right. Now get up, you're not dying. I want blueberry pancakes and bacon. Even you can handle that can't you?"

Dick didn't move an inch from his spot. He just stared at Jason with the saddest look on his face. "I was only teasing you Jay-bird."

Jason ran a hand over his face before sitting down next to his brother. He removed his shoe, completely ignoring the protests coming from his idiot sibling. He made quick work of inspecting his foot before dropping it back on the ground.

"You'll be fine you drama queen. Now for the last time, get off your lazy ass and make me breakfast!"

He stood up and offered a hand to his brother. Dick watched him warily for a moment before finally accepting the outstretched hand. Once he was back on his feet, he let go of Jason's hand. Walking gingerly to the kitchen, he mumbled, "Just for that, you're getting burnt pancakes and bacon."

"Don't care. You promised food and I'm holding you to your promise."

While the two of them were heading back to the kitchen again, they completely forgot about Tim. That was a mistake that was going to cost them for years to come.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Notes**_ : Now I remember why I took a break from writing fanfiction in the first place. Originally, this was supposed to be a two shot. Maybe a three shot at best. Well, the muse is taking this story in a different direction. I am trying my hardest to wrap this story up but the ideas won't stop coming! So you guys are stuck with me until I'm finished with this story. If there's one thing I want to know, how am I doing with characterizations? I feel like I'm screwing up and making everyone too OOC. So I'd love to get your thoughts about that issue. Other than that, you guys know the drill. Italics denote character thoughts. Happy reading!

 _ **Disclaimer**_ : Still don't own Batman or anything else associated with DC Comics.

"Since you look like road kill, mind explaining to me what the demon brat did to be grounded? As a matter of fact, just start from the beginning."

Dick bit his lip. His back was turned to Jason as he was currently gathering the necessary materials needed to make breakfast. He had a feeling if he turned around and met Jason's eyes, he'd end up telling him everything.

Jason wanted to give him the benefit of doubt. He really did but that was like asking Bruce to get in touch with his emotions. It just wasn't going to happen. At least not naturally so Jason did what he does best.

He slammed his hand down on the counter-top, causing Dick to flinch. "Come on Dickie-bird. You know how much I hate waiting."

"Do I really have to? I mean now that I think about it, it's pretty stupid. And I'm not just saying that because I have a soft spot for Damian."

"You need some cheese with that whine?"

Dick barely heard Jason's full statement. He was too busy trying to decide between blueberries or strawberries for their pancakes. Deciding to make both, he took the containers back to his station as he mulled over Jason's words again.

"Did you just…"

Without missing a beat, Jason interrupted him. "You sure are princess. That or you're stalling for time. If I really wanted to hear excuses or whining, I'd have gone to check on the brat. Just spit it out already!"

Dick sighed as he began cracking eggs into a large bowl. "Sometimes I really miss being an only child." He muttered loudly enough for his brother to hear him.

Said brother did nothing but laugh before finally taking a seat. "You were lonely as hell. Admit it! I made things interesting around here."

Dick never stopped working on the pancake mix as he decided to fight fire with fire. "You keep saying Damian is a brat but I seem to recall someone being an even bigger diva. You threw temper tantrums over the stupidest and smallest things."

Jason narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to retort but Dick beat him to the punch. With a near perfect imitation of his brother's voice, Dick started in on him. "Bruce, he touched my jacket! Bruce, he's looking at me weird! Bruce, I don't want that for dinner! Bruce, how come you love him more than me? Bruce, you're so unfair! You always take his side! If you love him so much, then why am I still here?"

Jason closed his mouth and looked away in embarrassment. He would never admit it out loud but those were spot on accusations that he may or may not have flung around the Manor once or twice. _I'll never say he doesn't listen to me ever again. Besides, I had every right to act like that._

"Still don't think you're the bigger brat? I could keep going if you'd like?" Dick asked cheekily.

He placed one hand on his cheek as he mumbled, "Fine. I may have said something like that but you can't blame me for saying those things."

Dick placed some bacon strips in the frying pan and then turned around to continue ribbing his brother. "Why not dear brother? It's not my fault you're so quick to get jealous. I get the reason why Damian does it but you? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you should have been a girl. God knows you act like one when you're in one of your moods."

Jason growled in response to his brother's observations. He could literally hear the smile in his voice. "Says the grown man that's easily moved to tears, still believes in true love even though both of your greatest loves ditched you, and let's not forget you still think the world is made of rainbows, sunshine and lollipops."

Dick had to fight the urge to start smiling. "I'll concede defeat on those first two points but I can't believe you just said that. Rainbows? Sunshine? Lollipops? Have you been around children too long again?"

Jason scoffed. "It's not my fault you refuse to grow up. You're too naïve and trusting. If anything, people aren't to be trusted. It's only a matter of time before you get stabbed in the back."

His jovial mood was slowly starting to fade. _Why does he insist on being so challenging? Now I see what Bruce meant._

"I've never given you a reason to feel like that. Have I?" Dick asked pensively.

When Jason failed to answer him, he knew then that he had his answer.

Jason watched his brother finish preparing breakfast in silence. Dick's entire body language was radiating tense stiffness. He'd seen this behavior multiple times previously. He always tried to hide it from the others but this was quickly becoming a normal reaction to him or Bruce.

 _Why doesn't he just give up on the two of us? Bruce treats him terribly and only shows him affection when he thinks he's going to lose him. And I've been keeping him at an arm's length ever since I came back. Why does he love us so much?_

"I can't make you change Jason but I know the anger and hate has to be exhausting. I'm not asking for much but at the very least, could you try to see my point of view on this?"

Any pity or sympathy Jason felt for his brother went clean out the window when he heard those words. He couldn't move. He just knew he heard him wrong. There's no way in hell Dick was asking him to see things from his point of view.

"Are you seriously…"

His disbelief only grew further when Dick held up one hand and then quietly said, "Stop the bullshit Jason."

 _I can't be at the Manor. I must be in an alternate dimension or something._

"For the last six years, I've had to sit back and watch you put Bruce through hell. You say you hate him but if he's in trouble, you come to help. You don't want anything to do with him but you can't stay away. That rage extended towards the rest of us as well. You were angry with me for not doing enough. I wasn't there for you. I wasn't the best big brother I could have been. Then you moved on to Tim. Tim, who actually likes you and wants you to like him, but that's never going to happen. Considering the fact, you've tried to kill him multiple times and you flat out refuse to call him anything other than Replacement. You only call him Tim when you want something or you're making fun of him. And as for Damian, the only reason why he's off limits is because you know what I'd do to you if you went after him. The reason why Alfred is the only one who still checks on you is because he's immune to you. He knows you would never harm him. But the rest of us? We stay away because we're respecting your wishes. You've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with us so when are you going to grow up and stop acting like a child?"

Jason couldn't tear his eyes away from Dick. He may have been tense earlier but now he was just furious. If his words weren't bad enough, the indignation oozing off of him should have been a warning sign. He couldn't see a hint of his brother in front of him. His eyes were dark and cold, no smile could be seen and worst of all, he felt absolutely nothing from his brother. Normally, he could at least get a good reading on him but nothing. Dick's guard was completely up.

He had no idea or quick fix on how to get him to open up again.

An uncomfortable silence began to stretch between them until Jason coughed awkwardly. "Maybe I should leave."

Not wanting to let go of his resentment, Dick walked up to his brother and placed the final nail in the coffin. "Coward."

Stepping away from his shocked brother, Dick began cleaning up the kitchen. _No sense in leaving this mess for Alfred. I'll be sure to put some on the side for Damian and Tim._

Jason stood frozen in place, staring at his brother's back until he finally found his voice again.

"This isn't about me is it Dick? I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. You can't call me a coward if you never dealt with your own problems."

Dick didn't bother to respond. He just kept straightening up the kitchen. This did nothing to help Jason's mood which began to sour quickly.

"Oh now we're doing the silent treatment. If you're not going to say anything, that's fine but do me a favor and get off your fucking high horse. You act like you've got it all together but you don't. The reason why I said all of that stuff earlier about you and Bruce is because it's true. You have any idea how the rest of us feel knowing that we're never going to measure up? Bruce will never admit it but you're his favorite. He loves you the most and it's maddening for the rest of us. You want to know why I was so jealous as a kid? It's because he was always comparing me to you! Nothing I did was good enough! Then I go and get killed. What does the bastard do? He replaces me as if I meant _**nothing**_. You didn't try to stop him either! I come back thinking I have a home, only to find out I've got nothing! No family, no friends, no home! Nothing! Imagine that? Now can you honestly sit there being all holier than thou?"

Dick dropped the rag he was using to clean the counter and spun around to confront Jason.

"If you would have bothered to check any of Bruce's security footage or even asked what happened after your death, you would know the answer to those questions. But since you're too damn stupid to do either, let me tell you. Bruce fell apart after you died. He got angrier and came close to killing people. Alfred and I did the best we could but we didn't know how to help him through his grief. After your funeral, I got kicked out of the Manor. He made me turn over my key and said the Manor wasn't home anymore. Apparently, trying to talk sense into your Dad when he's grieving is a bad idea. And before you say it, he didn't blame me for your death but he sure as hell made me pay for it. When Tim came along, Bruce tried everything to keep the kid away. Tim wouldn't be deterred. Eventually, he gave in and that's how he became Robin. Nobody replaced you. If anything, we all wanted you back. And Bruce will probably be upset that I told you all of this but he almost killed the Joker. The only reason why he didn't go through with it is because he knew he'd turn into the one thing he hated the most. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why was he willing to break his no kill rule for you?"

Once again Jason's anger left him. Now he just felt numb. "Are you telling me that he wanted to kill the Joker but stopped himself?"

Dick could only nod in confirmation.

"But I thought… All this time…"

"Obviously you thought wrong. But like you said earlier. We're the worst family ever remember?"

This time, Jason flinched violently as if his brother had struck him. Both brothers got extremely quiet, neither one knowing what to say or how to move past their differences.

* * *

By now, Damian was finished with his soak. He had bigger fish to fry such as making all of his siblings pay for his earlier humiliation.

"Grayson said I couldn't inflict any bodily harm or deliver vengeance, however, he never said anything about making phone calls."

Damian had to time this just right. He had been standing in front of his mirror for the last fifteen minutes practicing his "pathetic" look in an attempt to win sympathy. If his plan was going to work, he needed to be at the top of his game.

Making one more face just to be sure he had it perfected, he walked slowly to his bed and got under the covers. He reached over, grabbed the phone off of his nightstand and then dialed Alfred. As the phone rang, he couldn't help the little smile that came to his face.

 _Pennyworth will know I'm lying but he's not here to get the full story. Oh well, I will deal with his wrath later. At the moment, revenge is much more important!_

After what felt like an eternity, he heard the click that meant Alfred had answered the phone.

"Young sir, is everything all right?"

Damian remained, quiet, fighting against his natural instincts to start making demands and issuing orders.

"Master Damian, is there something that I have neglected to do for you? Your father…"

Damian chose that exact moment to start crying.

Alfred removed the phone from his ear. He stared at the phone as if it were a foreign object before placing it back to his ear. "Master Damian, are you unwell? I shall be returning to the Manor momentarily, however, you must tell me what has upset you."

Sniffling faintly, he proceeded to speak in the softest voice possible, "It's not me. Something's wrong with Tim and I can't find him anywhere in the Manor."

"Young sir, Master Timothy was soundly sleeping when I departed this morning. Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

"Pennyworth, he wasn't in his bed this morning! Grayson sent me to check on him when he didn't come down for breakfast. His bedroom door was unlocked but when I went in, he wasn't there. I've been looking for him all morning but he's not here!"

Hearing the rising panic in his voice, Alfred knew something was amiss.

"Young master, where is Master Richard? Surely, he must know Master Timothy's' whereabouts."

"Grayson is looking for him now and told me to call you or Father. I chose you because Father is in a board meeting. I knew if I tried to reach him, that dreadful secretary wouldn't put me through. Pennyworth, it's imperative that you contact Father at once!"

Alfred sorely wished he was at the Manor but there was absolutely no chance he would have been able to run his errands with Damian and Tim. Even he did not think he would have been able to control them if they were both to accompany him.

"Young master, please continue to look for Master Timothy."

Damian hung up without waiting to hear Alfred's next statement. He placed the phone back on his nightstand and placed both hands behind his head, smiling evilly the entire time.

 _Father will never let me out of the house after this incident but the looks on their faces will be priceless._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Notes**_ : My original intention was to make this a short and humorous story. My muse, however, decided to interrupt my thought process and decided it would be a good idea to throw some angst into the story as well. So now we're dealing with a humorous drama with bits of angst thrown in for good measure. As if the Batfamily doesn't suffer enough! At any rate, I'd like to get your feedback on whether or not I'm keeping everyone in character. Constructive criticisms are welcomed! Italics will denote character thoughts. Without further ado, happy reading!

 _ **Disclaimer**_ : Still don't own anything Batman related and I never will.

Unbeknownst to Dick, Jason or Damian, their third brother had wandered down to the Bat Cave. At the moment, he was currently surveying the mess that Dick had made. Important documents were all over the workbenches, the laboratory area still had beakers filled with chemicals, test tubes with blood samples were sitting on a different table, some of their costumes were in a laundry hamper and the Bat Computer had several windows open all with different data flashing across the screen.

Tim was literally shaking as he approached the computer. He took one look at the files pulled up before he began typing rapidly. A series of beeps began to sound off but Tim ignored them. Looking up once more, he was satisfied when he saw a lock appear on the files. Words were flashing across the screens but he couldn't make them out.

Running from the computer, he went to the lab area and began to dispose of the chemicals. He knew he should have put on some sort of protective gloves, eye-wear or even a lab coat but he bypassed protocol completely.

A few beakers slipped from the table or his hands and broke. Miraculously, none of the chemicals managed to get on him or his clothes. Once that was completed, he eyed the test tubes next. Somehow, he managed to remember that there was always a supply of bio-hazard bags kept in the lab. He grabbed one, not caring if it was the right size and shoved all of them into the bag.

Dropping the bag on the floor, he made a beeline towards one of the workbenches and proceeded to rip all of the documents to shreds. He repeated this action several more times until he couldn't see any more papers on the workbenches.

As for their costumes? He took one look at them and decided that the Cave was as clean as it was going to get. His shakes were starting to slow down but now he felt sluggish. Taking one more glance around the Cave, his eyes landed on the T-Rex that Dick affectionately called "Rexy". As if he were a moth drawn to flames, he began walking towards the dinosaur. Once he was near Rexy, he kept staring at it.

It was almost like he had never seen it before but in his caffeine riddled mind, nothing was making sense at the moment. Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself climbing up Rexy's left leg. It was a slow process but once he was on its back, he quickly scampered across the body. He then curled up on top of its head and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Normally Bruce Wayne considered himself tolerant and patient when it came to his employees, but right now he was wishing he had skipped coming to the office. His secretary was hovering by the door, looking as if her very life was being threatened. Upon closer inspection, Bruce could see the woman was constantly wringing her hands, pausing long enough so she could attempt to form a sentence before she closed her mouth again.

"Mr. Wayne, while I do appreciate you meeting with us on such short notice, perhaps you'd better see what your secretary wants. She's only interrupted us five times already."

Bruce tried to let that one roll off his back but this was one of the board members that he truly disliked. He was a bitter and miserable old man who should have retired years ago but he couldn't find any justifiable reasons to force him into retirement. He'd already tried several times but Lucius kept telling him that while the man was disliked by just about every person in the office, he was far too valuable as the chief financial officer.

 _If I ever reach a point like that while I'm here, I'll be sure to let Tim or Damian take over. I'd rather the company be in good hands than turn out like him._

Bruce plastered on a fake smile and stood up, pretending like he never heard Mr. Williams. He went over to his secretary and closed the door behind him. Resisting the urge to hit something, he gave her his full attention.

"You've never looked this shaken before Jenna. Is everything alright?"

She gulped once and then gathered her courage. She knew she'd done the unthinkable by interrupting a board meeting but she would worry about the consequences later. Right now, she had a job to do.

"Sir, I know you've specifically asked not to be bothered unless one of your children called but Mr. Pennyworth has been calling for you. This is the sixth call that I've taken and I simply didn't know what else to tell him. He's adamant about speaking with you and even threatened to come here if I didn't tell you that he was on the phone. I'm terribly sorry."

Putting on a small genuine smile, Bruce simply waved her off. "It's alright. Alfred wouldn't have bothered to call that many times unless it was important. Did he happen to tell you what he needed?"

She shook her head before walking over to her desk. "He's still on hold and judging from his tone, I didn't want to hang up on him or ask to take another message."

She picked up the phone and handed it to Bruce without saying another word.

"Alfred? Is everything alright?" Bruce questioned as some concern leaked into his voice.

"I say Master Bruce! Something is terribly wrong at the Manor. I've tried to reach the boys but no one is answering the phone. I received a call from Master Damian and he was obviously upset but he refused to tell me what was wrong. He simply insisted that I contact you immediately."

Bruce's entire body tensed as worst case scenarios flashed across his mind. "Alfred, tell me what you know."

"Sir, I left to run my morning errands as usual. As you well know, I couldn't have Master Timothy and Master Damian accompany me. That would have been rather unproductive. Master Richard was awake and promised that everything would be fine. I was finishing my last task when Master Damian called to inform me that something was amiss with Master Timothy. He would not tell me what happened but he went on to state that Master Timothy wasn't in his bedroom. Master Damian also insisted that something was wrong, however, I believe there is more to this story."

Bruce could feel some of the tension leaving his body but that still didn't mean things were right at home. "Alfred, are you anywhere near the office?"

"With all due respect, Master Bruce, are you not in an important meeting? Surely, I can proceed to the Manor and…"

Knowing he would get an earful from his butler, Bruce interrupted him. "Alfred, I know you can handle the boys without me but if something is really wrong, I'd rather be there instead of finding out after the fact."

Bruce could feel the waves of displeasure coming through the phone. He knew Alfred hated being interrupted as well as when he ignored his advice. Normally, Alfred had a tendency to be right about almost everything. But this time? Bruce couldn't shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong at home.

"Master Bruce? Perhaps it would be prudent to meet me at the Manor? I fear I would be wasting time if I came to Wayne Enterprises."

Bruce could still hear the distinct disapproval in Alfred's voice. "Of course Alfred. If I leave right now, I should be able to meet you at the Manor."

"See that you do sir."

Without waiting for a goodbye, Alfred hung up the phone. Bruce knew he was in trouble because Alfred never hung up on him. Without wasting another second, he handed the phone back to his secretary. "Jenna, sorry to do this to you but do you think you could get Lucius to fill in for me?"

She placed the phone back on the hook and was stunned to see the look on his face. He looked troubled, which was saying something because as long as she worked here, she'd never once seen that look on his face.

"Yes sir. We can handle things here."

She was rewarded with another small smile before Bruce rushed back into the board meeting to grab his jacket. He didn't bother to inform his board members about his plans. Once he had his jacket, he ran out of the room, never stopping until he reached the elevators. He knew it made for an interesting sight to see the CEO running to the elevators but he had important matters to attend to.

Bruce heard several of his board members call his name in exasperation but he ignored them. _My boys are more important than some meeting._

He pressed the button and waited impatiently for the doors to open. He began to tap his foot as he kept glancing at the elevator. He was debating whether or not he should take the stairs when the doors finally opened.

Not bothering to hold the door for anyone else, he hit the close button twice. The doors slammed shut on some of his employees but he could make that up to them later.

* * *

Jason felt like the absolute biggest heel on the planet. He knew Dick was working on that cold case but something else was obviously wrong. His brother was a lot of things but he wasn't mean spirited. He would never say such things unless he meant them.

Taking a slow and deep breath, Jason took one more look at his brother. If anything, he looked worse than he did this morning. With growing dreadfulness, he began to think back to the last few times he had seen Dick. And each time he saw him, he had the same look. His dread quickly turned to terror when one despairing thought occurred to him.

 _The last time Dick looked even remotely normal was two weeks ago. That was right around the time Batman asked him for his help. They had to deal with the Scarecrow._

"Dick, I'm only going to ask you this question once and you'd better not lie to me. Are you suffering from the after effects of Crane's fear gas?"

Dick remained silent but for Jason, the puzzle pieces were starting to come together.

Jason struggled to keep his anger in check. He knew he had to handle this situation delicately, however, that was going to be problematic. That wasn't something he excelled at after all.

 _Okay Jason. Think! If you were in Dick's shoes, how would he handle this?_

He wracked his brain for a few moments before the answer finally came to him. He wanted to be irritated with his brother but the logical side of him wouldn't shut up. _Come on Todd, you and I both know if he took the antidote and it didn't work, he wouldn't be too keen on letting Bruce or Alfred know. He'd rather soldier through the pain instead of being a bother. Damn idiot is going to be the death of us yet! How hard is it to just admit that something's not right? What kind of family am I stuck with anyway?_

He could feel his left eye twitching uncontrollably. As much as he really wanted to beat the hell out of his brother, he opted for a different course of action.

He closed the distance between them and hugged Dick, hoping he could convey his feelings without having to actually voice them.

At first, he felt extremely self-conscious. He wasn't known for giving out hugs or being emotional. That was Dick's territory and he was content to let his brother have that role. Now that the shoe was on the other foot, however, he could sympathize with Damian.

 _I'll never make fun of the brat again if I live this one down._

He felt stupid because his brother wasn't taking the bait. Here he was, in the Manor, actually hugging a sibling and not causing any harm. _The one time I decide to be nice and Dick can't even appreciate it!_

He was about to let go, thinking he should have just left when he had the chance, when a pair of arms hesitantly hugged him back. He refused to look down at his brother. He knew if he looked, he'd never be able to erase the memory.

His older brother was supposed to be strong, annoying, and cheerful. He was a general pain in the neck. Not this stranger that was trying too hard and neglecting to take care of himself.

He was pulled from his thoughts when a quiet voice mumbled, "I didn't realize the antidote didn't work."

Knowing better than to interject, Jason refrained from speaking. He wanted to hear what really happened for Dick to be reduced to this state.

"Bruce asked me to help him apprehend the Scarecrow. We took him down without any problems but Bruce may or may not have over-reacted when I got hit with Fear Gas. I was already injured which I failed to tell him about but I was trying to protect Damian. I figured I could take the effects of the gas better but none of us were expecting an upgraded version. Whatever Crane doused me with… It didn't start to affect me until a few days ago."

Jason was half tempted to give him a proper beating but that could wait. He had to keep reminding himself that Dick deserved whatever was coming his way. Deep down, he had a feeling that now wasn't the time to add on to his brother's misery. Even if he really, really wanted to pummel him. Whether he liked it or not, his brother was going to be getting his help. Dick had given him some serious food for thought but that still didn't justify Dick's behavior.

"Bruce doesn't know but I think Alfred is starting to suspect something is wrong. He could always tell when one of us was lying."

He removed his arms from around his brother and gently shoved Dick away. The hurt look on his brother's face spoke volumes but he had a job to do. He didn't like this any more than Dick but it had to be done.

"We're going down to the Cave. I'm sure there's a way around Crane's Fear Gas. As for the brat and replacement, they're going to have to wait a little bit longer."

"I'm okay Jason. I think we should check on Tim. He's been…"

Jason turned his head slightly so he could glare at Dick. "The replacement isn't important. He's probably passed out asleep somewhere. As for you, you're going down to the Cave. I don't care what you say or think you're going to do but you forget. I'm in my right mind and you're not. Plus, you're not even close to being at one hundred percent. I could take you in one hit."

Dick met his brother's glare with one of his own. "I'd like to see you try it. Sick or not, I'm still better than you."

Jason ignored that last comment. It stung like hell but there was also a little truth to his brother's words. "We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Think long and hard about this Dick. I will beat you to a bloody pulp if I have to but you're going to the Cave and we're going to figure this out together. Now you can stand there and be a bitch or you can actually follow me. My way is a hell of a lot easier than Bruce's or Alfred's. With them, you won't get any other options."

Upon hearing those words, the fight immediately left Dick. He hated when Jason was right. It didn't happen all the time but when it did, it usually meant something had to happen at his expense.

Without saying another word, he walked ahead of his brother to Bruce's study.

Jason actually sighed with relief as he followed behind his brother. _You'd better hope we can figure this out. Because if Bruce gets wind of this, we're both screwed._


End file.
